As a very young child I was sexually abused. As a result, anxiety ruled every aspect of my life. Because of this anxiety, I was put on medication. In a short amount of time I was abusing the medication and became addicted to it, but no one knew. All I wanted to do was numb the pain of my past. Around the same time an older boy who lived nearby to my family tried to take advantage of me. I had no hope that life could get any better so I decided that if my life did not improve I would take my own life. For a while it did seem to improve. I was involved in dance, sports, and was a half decent student. I was even involved in church, even though I had not truly accepted Christ. To people around me, I seemed to have it all together. I was no longer addicted to the medication I once was, but I seemed to just trade one addiction for another. I was always sensitive about my weight, being that I was in sports. I was never satisfied with any number on the scale. At 16 years old I was close to death. After many threats of hospitalization, I put on a little weight just so my doctors and teachers would get off my back. From then on my weight went up and down as I battled anorexia and bulimia. In high school I was involved in a few abusive relationships with older men. By that time I had no respect for myself any longer. So many times I just let the abuse happen. By the time I was in college, my life became out of control. I was not only entangled in an eating disorder, but was struggling with self mutilation and abusing diet pills. I could no longer hide my secret life. I was in and out of hospitals. I went to see many doctors, but nothing helped. I decided that life was no longer worth living, so I attempted to end it.

The suicide attempt was a wake-up call. I saw just how much my actions were affecting my family and friends. I cried out for help and applied to be a student at The Father's Ranch. Within three days of being at The Father's Ranch I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.

Jesus Christ is now my reason for living. Even though my past is filled with a lot of pain, I am thankful that I went through what I did. I believe that if I would not have gone through these hardships, I would not have been broken enough to accept Christ. I now know that a smaller number on the weight scale, drugs, good grades, or anything in this world can not fill the void in my life. Only Jesus Christ can. I know that I may still struggle with the things in my past, but I also know that when I do struggle I can cry out to God for strength to overcome the temptation. Instead of looking to the world for solutions to my problems, I now look to Christ because He is the only answer!

---Angela